Sapphire Blues

Just start, just do it.
What are you waiting for?
Divine inspiration?
This post was supposed to be about a pair of sapphire stud earrings that I made for a client a few years ago. But it’s actually about something else. It’s about fear, procrastination and imposter syndrome.
For months now, I have been increasingly struggling with all of the above. Recently, I’ve again fallen down the rabbit hole of believing that I am an imposter, to the point at which it has started to affect the way I have been presenting myself to the world. I have been acting; pretending that I am fine when in reality I have not been.
My social media posts have become increasingly less frequent, and I didn’t want to make anything new because I was so consistently starting to believe my internal monologue. It reached a point at which, on those ever-increasing days where fear and a lack of self-belief would make me procrastinate and get very little done, I would admonish myself so severely that I would just give up, go home and mope. I also feel like I’ve come to sound like a broken record to those to whom I am close.
But this morning something happened. I woke up and I gave myself a talking to. I told myself that this has to stop and that if I don’t choose to break this cycle of self-pity I could end up in a far worse place than I am in now.
So I told myself that today I would get things done.
Sounds simple, doesn’t it?
But if you have been hard wired for years into thinking you are not good enough, then thinking and doing the opposite is not easy. But this morning I told myself, just for today act ‘is if’.
‘As if’ what?
‘As if’ I am not an imposter. That's all. Don’t overanalyse myself, don’t ruminate on it too much. Just get those things done which needed to be done. So I did the errands and I sent those messages. I posted to social media and I ticked off some other little jobs I have been putting off for too long. And I wrote this blog post.
So what about the earrings?
Well maybe my wanting to start to write about the earrings was just a pretext for me to actually say what I needed to say above, about how today I managed to get some things done.
But what about the earrings?
Picture of said earrings as proof! If you are genuinely interested in these, I made these for a client a couple of years ago using purple sapphires that I had cut especially in Sri-Lanka. My client chose the stones from my stock and this post is my way of telling you that I can make more as a customised commission for you, as I have more sapphires that are similar to those in these earrings.
Drop me an email if you are interested tamara@tamaragomez.com
And try not to worry about me. It really was quite a talking to, and today I’ve got what I needed to do, done.